Are there any cliches that have been spoken directly to you and you’d like to find the originator and punch them directly in their left canine? Have you ever seriously thought about cliches or idioms or blindly repeated the phrases because you have been conditioned to use them as a witty go to when in need of sustainable dialogue? Even worse! Have you ever found yourself to be a living form of one of these cliches and had to soul search so you could break away from its vacuumed grip?
It’s probably safe to say that we all have, myself included, and one of the biggest ruts to get stuck inside is actually becoming something that you used to hate or preach against.
As my father would say, a rut is just a double sided grave.
Numerous cliches resonate wherever I go, and they stand out in printed red italics and are contained in bubble clouds above people’s heads whenever I hear them. Actions speak louder than words! Really? So throwing a hammer at someone is more effective than just saying you’re going to do it? The grass is always greener on the other side! Not all the time, Sherlock! The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Well, that’s debatable considering where the tree is planted and if there are any surrounding hills. You can’t judge a book by its cover. Yeah, well, the people at the metaphor department better send Danielle Steele, Playboy, and Hustler a memo. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, unless it is a bear, moose, or shark attack. Love is blind. Yeah, yeah yeah, it’s been blind since the Garden, we get it. Ignorance is bliss. Well, I choke on my own spit as I swallow because I know a lot of blissful people around my way and I’m sure you know some around your way as well.
Then, the cliche, that reverberates my soul with an endless echo, claws through the cracks of light in my brain and permeates the matter or lack thereof. This cliche is the one that tests me the most and will continue to do so until I vanquish the devilish cornerstone of my irony.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
This cliche leaves bite marks on me for certain reasons that I choose not to disclose because not all of my stories are free for public consumption. If there is an absence of something that you love in your life, an attachment that you must separate yourself from, then there is going to be enormous amounts of pain. There is going to be heartbreak that finally scabs up when it decides to, and it will leave a scar. There is going to be mental anguish. There are going to be negative emotions constantly battling positive emotions. There are going to be pits of deep desperation. There are going to be contradictory feelings that are going to get yanked apart like melted cheese and then be jump roped into knots. There are going to be more down days than up days, and the mental separation of these facts from the situation will start to cloud judgment in all areas of your life.
Whether this attachment is a person, car, job, house, pet, or one of the other one million things that you, the reader, hold dear to yourself, absence does not always make the reunion more grand. In some cases, if there is some unnecessary weight you are trying to rid yourself of, absence is only going to make your vision clearer and force you to realize that you are safer and better off distancing yourself from that specific thing. Sometimes, absence brings you to a certain level of enlightenment because you begin to accept that the void you put yourself into was needed so you could fill your life with more satisfactory things.
One common cliche that people tag together with the absence one is the fact that if you let go of something and it never returns then it was never yours to begin with. I chuckle to myself because only gaslighting narcissists and control freaks would rely on this cliche to validate a certain outcome. This is quite often used as an excuse for pushing the cause and effect off onto someone else and making sure the spotlight never hits front and center. There’s a catch twenty-two that comes along with letting go of something because there have been numerous times I had to let go of certain behaviors, substances, and people, and I never wanted to see that thing ever again, even in the afterlife.
Except for one forced occasion.
Nobody will truly know the lengths of the self sacrifice I have performed over the course of my own life, and that’s okay because self sacrifice should not focus on obtaining instant gratification. To you, the reader, and all the others that do not get the recognition for feeling the way that I have felt and continue to feel from time to time, I curtly bow and hold my hand out to you. Self sacrifice is one of the most tiring dances I have ever participated in, and it seems like you must put on the proper dancing shoes, so called Time and Patience, before you can properly tango with it. The ballroom is full of other dancers like you and me, and I can assure you that, when the music finally stops, all of our struggles will have been worth it. While everyone applauds the orchestra for playing their latest tune, me and you will be able to slide a glass of champagne off the shiny silver trays being ushered about, salute one another, and close our eyes as we take our first sips of validation.
If that is not the case, then this purgatory of an Earth is pointless, creation is nothing more but a quarter slot arcade machine, and the afterlife is but a mere cloak of what your life used to be before you were born. I try not to think like that anymore because life is too short to be lived as such. It’s okay to be an optimist. It’s okay to be a pessimist. It’s okay to be a realist. It’s okay to be an equal combination of all those mindsets. I do know that a life lived in constant angst and discontent is like purposefully jabbing holes in your life raft as the boat slowly sinks.
So always remember, there’s no time like the present, because I guess it would be hard to say there’s no time like the past or future. If all else fails as you journey through your life, it’s better to be safe than sorry (that cliche would make a good condom ad). All that glitters isn’t gold. If life gets hard, don’t cry over spilled milk (or liquor) and know that every cloud has a silver lining.
Want to read about a silver lining to top all silver linings - check out my post about being in a band that gigged out once before breaking up : https://vernonwrites.com/2020/04/15/silver-linings/
If life starts grinding you underneath it’s heel, don’t let anyone lie to you and say that time heals all wounds. There’s only one thing that heals wounds.
I have discovered that life is not a highway (sorry Tom Cochrane – great song though). Life is not a rollercoaster. Life is not a Ferris wheel. Life is an off-road ATV ride through a hot, unforgiving desert. Rip off the rear view mirror, buckle your seatbelt, put on your helmet, and hold the insert F word here on. The view over the first hill is going to be worth the bumps and bangs our undercarriage absorbs as we plow forward into destiny.
Your life is more than becoming a living cliche or idiom. Your life is a story, so make sure it inspires you first before you share it with others around you. Never settle for anything less than what you need! Recognize the difference between happiness and joy. Fill the voids of your life with things that set your soul on fire. It’s okay to smile despite the tragedies of life as long as we keep ourself balanced and grounded.
You know what they say about comedy right?
Sometimes laughter is the best medicine.
Or a joint the size of my leg.
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