Tag: funny

nOn-cOmmOn sEnsE

I went to the grocery store today. They did not have any strawberries. Or cherries. Or green bananas. Or fresh oranges. I immediately thought, figures, considering. I tried looking for other items, all unavailable because, hell if I know! I left because it was too exhausting. And depressing. And I think I heard a girl…

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But, Still!

The first person to shave away all their pubic hair - what were they thinking? Did they just wake up one morning, sip a cup of coffee, turn on the tele, stare at the sunrise through their blinds, eat a bowl of cereal, and say to themselves, hey, I want to get rid of the…

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mr. and mrs. jAck wiSe Smart

People have said that my blog posts are so long and drawn out that they doubt I could ever write three sentences or less and still be entertaining and effective. For those people, comic strips are printed in the newspaper every Sunday. Three sentences or less : ☑️ Catchy title : ☑️ Accurate picture :…

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Am i An astronaut?

I look around at my surroundings, but what is it that I truly see? Faces wearing masks? Ear loop covered sadness? At least we can pretend behind our disguises. I could be wrong. There could be lips turned upward in a smile? How would I know? Do I even care anymore? Do I hide it…

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She’s Far From Typical

We met there, again, the other night. She made eye contact with me and bit her lip. Standard first steps of seduction, I think, but if she did not do it then I would have complained. She combed her hands through her hair, ran them over her chest, and dangled them at her hips. Her…

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Living Cliches

Are there any cliches that have been spoken directly to you and you’d like to find the originator and punch them directly in their left canine? Have you ever seriously thought about cliches or idioms or blindly repeated the phrases because you have been conditioned to use them as a witty go to when in…

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End’s Beginning

I told myself this past weekend that I was going to take the week off. I had it made up in my mind that I was not going to fill the WordPress void with another countless blog post. It’s not that I do not want to write. It’s not that I do not have any…

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Do You Talk To Yourself?

Do you talk to yourself? Oh God, here we go. You know they have other things to worry about right now than silly questions of the such! One would think you had more important things on your own mind than being rhetorical with someone you don’t even know. Oh, you hush it, you. I’m trying…

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